"In my family, women did not take part in the major roles of the funeral ceremony. Watching my brother, who was just a child, play an important role during
the funeral made me feel sad, neglected. I was related to my grandmother as much as he was. I was already a teenager.
"Now that I am a mother, I believe that all of my children,
no matter what gender, have a responsibility to respect me because I love them and have endured hard work to raise them.
"I also think a lot about my mother, who lives in Taiwan. I remember when she set up the table to invite the spirits of our ancestors. It was done sometimes spontaneously, and I didn't understand why. But now,
I understand. My mother had not seen her parents for forty years because they stayed on the mainland instead of moving to Taiwan. Setting up the spirit table was the only way she could think of to commemorate her parents, and lessen the pain within."
Wu Meifen, April 2001
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